Relationship violence

Intimate Partner Violence, sometimes called domestic violence, can occur in intimate relationships, such as with a romantic partner or spouse. It can include physical violence, or threats of violence, intimidation, stalking and harassment, as well as controlling behaviours. Intimate partner violence can cause physical, financial, psychological, emotional, or sexual harm. It is important to remember that intimate partner violence can consist of a pattern of behaviours that can be hard to describe and might not seem problematic in isolation.

Intimate partner violence can occur although people may not live with the abusive partner or be in a “traditional” partnered relationship with their abuser.

Family violence refers to threatening, coercive, controlling, or abusive behaviour between individuals in a family context, kinship or ‘family of choice’ relationships. It includes child abuse and elder abuse. The behaviours experienced cause feelings of worthlessness, fear and distress in the person affected by the behaviour. 

Coercive control is often a part of relationship violence, perpetrators exert power and dominance through behaviours preventing the other person from making their own choices and being independent. 

Coercive control can have physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual, cultural, social and financial impacts. The impacts of coercive control can build up over time, resulting in the person affected feeling trapped and isolated. This can make it hard to seek and receive support or end a relationship.  

Some of the behaviours that contribute to coercive control are more easily recognised as abuse, such as harassment, financial abuse, stalking or technology-facilitated abuse. Other behaviours may be less recognised as a form of control, such as discouraging contact with family and friends, or discouraging work outside the home.

From 1 July 2024, coercive control is a criminal offence in NSW under the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022.   

Finding out that someone you know is experiencing relationship violence can be distressing, and it is natural to want to help but not know how. The most important thing is to listen, remain unjudgmental and support the person in making their own choices when they are ready. It is also better to talk about the perpetrator/s behaviours rather than them as a person as being negative about the perpetrator can sometimes alienate the person you’re supporting. 

If someone you know is experiencing relationship violence you can seek professional support. For more information about how to respond and support someone: 

• How to support someone experiencing domestic and family violence | 1800RESPECT, opens in a new window 
• Something has happened to someone I care about | Full Stop Australia, opens in a new window.